They may be poles apart, but in many couples’ cases, they have to live side by side. Morality and religion issues aside, porn isn’t really that bad. Given a choice between catching your partner hooking up with a prostitute and catching him watching porn, which would you prefer to happen?

Tips for Husbands

Porn can ruin your marriage. You may think it’s a completely harmless habit, that it’s your right as an individual to have fun the way you want to, but even so. Porn – if used inappropriately and/or excessively – will ruin your relationship with your partner.

Feelings of Inadequacy

If you watch porn too often and in many ways, you use porn in order to arouse yourself then this could lead your wife to feel sexually inadequate even though you don’t mean to and you find her more than adequate sexually.

It’s very easy for a wife to think that you are not attracted to her – or at least not like before – when you prefer to “spend more time” on porn than doing something with your partner and that you prefer to start any sexual activity with a little bit of porn.

Addiction

In many cases, watching porn can also turn into a dangerous addiction. It’s nothing to be shameful about. Things like these do happen and many factors are involved in order for this kind of addiction to occur. But you do need to put a stop to it because addictions are always dangerous when they’re allowed to last.

You need to ask for professional help. Google can easily help you out on that score and you’ll be able to find a counselor who’s well-experienced in dealing with such matters and helping affected individuals recover successfully. It goes without saying that everything you tell your doctor will be strictly confidential, but if it’s a doctor in your area then there could still be a chance of being discovered. People in the area who know you and who know what your doctor specializes in would come to the right conclusions eventually.

If you are not yet entirely comfortable about letting people know of your addiction – certainly, this situation requires discretion and that’s something your wife would appreciate as well – then you should seriously consider consulting a doctor based outside your community. If not that, consider other alternatives like phone or online-based counseling. There are more and more specialists who offer this type of therapy to accommodate busy and bedridden patients.

Self-Discipline

Whether or not you do receive professional help, your success will ultimately and largely rest on your shoulders. You need to combine professional help with self-discipline. If you’re truly willing and determined to get rid of this kind of addiction then you need to take the initiative.

Do what you can right now to help minimize your addiction. What you’re about to do is not that different from how individuals try to wean themselves from smoking or drinking. Start by coming to a firm decision about quitting. Once you’ve made the commitment, do your best to stick to it.

There are two ways of quitting: you either do everything all at once or you give yourself a schedule. You alone will know which one would work better for you. If you’ve chosen to stick to a schedule then start with small steps but always give yourself deadlines. You may decide, for instance, to reduce the time you spend watching porn by half for this week. Come next month, you’re going to cut it by half again and so forth.

Temptation

Stay away from any possible source of porn. That includes visiting websites which may have porn advertisements, browsing through cable channels when you know there’s an adult program on schedule, or checking out porn magazines. Why test yourself when there’s no need? Simply avoid possible sources of temptation and you’ll be on your way to recovery sooner than you think.

Tips for Wives

Your husband is not addicted to porn, but you are bothered all the same that he watches it. Is it your right as a wife to ask your husband to stop watching it? In a way, it is, but only if it greatly harms your marriage.

Why are you bothered?

Before picking a fight with your husband, try to determine exactly why you’re bothered in the first place. Most men watch porn. Most wives don’t mind. Some may even join them from time to time as these women also find porn titillating. Be very honest with yourself. Is it really the act of watching porn that truly bothers you?

Analyze your concerns.

Now that you know exactly what is bothering you, consider your next steps carefully. Will your concerns be assuaged if your husband does stop watching porn?

Discuss your concerns with your husband.

Take note that the operative word here is ‘discuss’; you are not to argue or fight with your husband about porn. Surely your marriage is not that shallow? Let him know about your concerns then take the time to listen to his side as well. It’s essential that you try to see things from his point of view.

Can Couples Enjoy Porn Together?

It is possible, but both parties have to keep an open mind about it. Also, it’s best to take things step by step. If one of you is unused to watching porn then a gentle introduction is vital. Showing your partner hardcore action will only alienate your partner more.

Educational

Don’t laugh. Porn flicks are still movies, and they’re acted out by professionals. So why can’t you take a page or two from their books in order to enhance your sexual relationship? If you are going to suggest this to your partner, do make sure that you emphasize the fact that the potential to learn for both of you. Otherwise, your spouse is going to think you’re insulting his or her skills on bed.

Choice

Lastly, ask for your partner’s opinion about what he or she wants to watch. Think of it as your usual movie date. You prevent fights by choosing a movie that both of you like.