HIV is perhaps the most terrifying sexually transmitted disease (STD) there is because of its potentially life-threatening effects. But equally painful is its impact on one’s relationship with others. If you are married to someone with HIV or any other STD, it’s very much possible that yours would be a sexless marriage for the rest of your life. But it need not be something without love.
Understanding HIV
HIV is nowadays a commonly known abbreviation simply because it’s a widespread disease. Even though rates of HIV are falling, thankfully so, it’s still not low enough for anyone to neglect proper precautions when having any sexual relationship with another person.
HIV stands for human immunodeficiency virus. The words ‘human immunodeficiency’ should already give you a clue on how this virus works. It attacks your immune system, the one that’s responsible for keeping your body healthy and giving it the means to defend itself against all kinds of germs and diseases.
When you become with infected with HIV, it’s possible that your condition will worsen and turn into AIDS or Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome. This is what you should avoid at all costs because it poses the greatest threat to your life.
Even until today, there is no cure for AIDS. There are medications and treatments that may slow down its progress but nothing is guaranteed.
How You Can Become Infected with HIV
Unprotected sexual intercourse is the most common and easiest way to be infected with HIV. When we say ‘unprotected’, we mean the lack of use of condoms. In this case, birth pills and other types of contraceptives that do not act as physical barriers and prevent physical contact of reproductive organs do not count as protection. These types of contraceptives can protect you against pregnancy but not against HIV and, eventually, AIDS.
Studies show that unprotected anal intercourse is the easiest way to get infected, and it’s one of the major reasons why a large number of homosexuals find themselves victims of this disease. The next most common way for you to become infected is with unprotected virginal sex, which is the most common form of sexual intercourse.
Other types of sexually transmitted diseases such as herpes, syphilis, or gonorrhea weaken your immune system – perhaps enough to make you more vulnerable to HIV.
Oral Sex and HIV
Although the risk of contracting HIV through oral sex is lower compared to actual sexual intercourse, the operative word here is ‘lower’, which means the risk hasn’t been completely eliminated. As such, you should still do everything possible to further lower that risk. Of course, prevention is still the best cure of all and if you don’t want to risk getting infected through oral sex then you shouldn’t attempt to perform this act at all.
The risk found in oral sex is due to the possible transmission of liquids which may contain the virus. The Center of Disease Control (CDC) has specified four types of liquids that have the ability to carry the virus.
Blood
Although the possibility of exchanging blood during oral sex is low, it does happen on rare occasions especially if it’s the result that you or your partner is working to achieve. Keep in mind, however, that blood also has the greatest capacity to carry HIV.
Semen
When a man climaxes or reaches an orgasm and ejaculates inside you, it’s possible that his semen would also release the virus inside your body. Moreover, pre-ejaculation semen is not safer because studies show that they, too, have the ability to carry HIV.
Vaginal Secretions
If it is the female who’s infected, any vaginal secretion she makes during sex has the potential to carry HIV and infect you with it.
Breast Milk
Finally, even breast milk can be a means of transmitting HIV from one carrier to another. This is one of the greatest concerns about HIV because unaware mothers may end up infecting their newborn or infant children with HIV through breastfeeding.
Are There Any Other Ways You Can Get Infected?
Yes, there are still a number of ways that you or your partner can become infected with HIV. This is why if one of you has been diagnosed of HIV, you shouldn’t immediately suspect one or the other of infidelity.
Body Piercings and Tattoos
Both of these require the use of needles and if the needles have not been properly sterilized prior to the procedure and these needles just so happened to be used on a person with HIV then you face a risk of contracting HIV when these needles pierce your skin.
Injections
Again, use of any improperly cleaned and sterilized needles for injections of any kind increase your risk if the needles have been previously used by someone with HIV. This is why it’s critical not to share needles for any reason and to use brand new needles as much as you can.
How to Have a Healthy Marriage Even If You or Your Partner Has HIV
Your marriage doesn’t have to end because of STD. Remember your vows. Didn’t you promise to be with each other through sickness and in health? And strictly speaking, it doesn’t have to be a sexless marriage either.
Keep communication lines open.
Don’t be afraid to voice out your fears and share your concerns. It’s when you stop communicating with each other that problems ensue.
Be extra supportive and understanding of each other.
Yes, even the partner with STD should exert extra effort as well in being supportive and understanding. This situation is not easy for either of you.
Focus on being romantic and creative.
Marriage with someone with STD can still be a joy; you just have to work harder. Focus more on the romantic aspect – think of ways you can bring a smile to your partner’s face outside the bedroom. But as for what happens inside, ever heard of the word ‘foreplay’? It’s a lot better than most people give it credit for. You just need to give it a try. What do you have to lose?
