The definition of a sexless marriage unfortunately isn't always easily definitive. Some may consider that their marriage is a sexless one if they only have sex once per month, others may believe their marriage is sexless as they have not been intimate in years. For each set of married couples dealing with this issue though, it is always stressful.
How Little Sex Can One Person Get?
Not having regular sex with your partner can lead to many bad and resentful feelings towards them. You can also turn these feelings inward and begin to blame yourself. However the relationship is going if you are not making time for sex with your partner you cannot blame only them for the divide in the relationship. If both of you are too busy with work, kids and school or after school activities.
So before you throw in any kind of towel always attempt to discern what may indeed be the cause of the sexless marriage issue. Issues with scheduling can always be a sincere cause of these issues so unless you have already done all you could to plan special romantic nights alone or a date night out do not assume your sexless marriage cannot be corrected by such simple measures.
The Heart of the Matter
What is at the heart of the matter likely is emotions that have been bottled up and unable to set free. Without communication this can often happen in just about any marriage no matter how seemingly smooth they seem to flow along. When the needs of one person are being systematically ignored it can lead to a cycle where one partner feels the only way to retaliate is if their partner voices a concern to them, so they can ignore it and show them how it feels. Not only will this retaliatory manner not help to improve the relationship, it may also help to damage it further.
Health Issues Cause for Sexless Marriages
Unfortunately accidents do happen, so do illnesses they are beyond the control of us or our loved ones. Additionally some diseases or addictions such as alcoholism can also be a reason for reduced activities in the bedroom. So if you have had a sexually healthy relationship in the past and are now dealing with some health issues that is preventing you from having regular sex with your mate you may need to begin the process of dealing with how that has caused issues in your marriage.
If the issues that are preventing you from having sex are only going to be temporary ones then this can actually be a good thing. Having a teaser time can only serve to make you want each other all the more and once recovery is reached there can be a short honeymoon period where you can get to know each other's bodies once more.
However, if the health issues are going to be permanent and you find yourself facing a life of a sexless marriage it can be very important to seek counseling as soon as possible. You may come to the point where you have to make a very hard decision regarding your willingness to continue in a marriage that no longer includes sex.
After An Affair
Some may be dealing with sexless marriages due to a past affair that one spouse may be finding difficult to overcome. It is important in an issue like this to continue to show patience and to allow the reluctance of your spouse to run its course. Although everyone deals with an affair differently some men and women who have repaired their marriages after an affair may still find it extremely difficult to have intimate relations with the cheating spouse.
Regardless of the reason behind your sexless marriage it is very important to take a step back and see things from all points of view. Blaming one person for the actions, or inactions, of both is pointless as it has always taken two people to create a relationship in the first place. Give your marriage time to repair itself from trauma or tragedies before pushing forward into counseling or whatever means may work to help you keep a marriage you highly desire to last.
