We have all seen the sitcoms on TV, showing us mom and dad, just waiting for the kids to be asleep or out of the house so that they can run off and make love. We have all seen the commercials, depicting married couples that just can’t keep their hands off of one another, pursuing any moment that they can to be alone and intimate. Based upon what we are tuning into weekly, it would seem that a normal marriage is one where both husband and wife are continually lusting after one another with the enthusiasm of hormonal teenagers. All of this imagery can leave you wondering, why is MY marriage sexless?

The truth of the matter is that the television lies. It is scripted and designed to be entertaining. Intellectually, we all know this, but on some level, we all buy into it, which can leave us feeling grossly inadequate in our own relationships, especially if our own marriages are less passionate than the ones on TV. On average, most couples are not constantly biding their time, waiting for no one to be looking, so that they can pounce on one another. Even if that is how they wish it could be, which can leave you asking, why IS my marriage sexless?

While most marriages aren’t completely sexless, many couples do make love a lot less frequently than either partner would like. The reasons for this are many and varied. New parents often find a dramatic decrease in intimacy during and after pregnancy. Pregnant women’s hormones are famous for their wild fluctuations. Sometimes this can lead to an increased sex drive. Others it can have the opposite effect. The sleepless nights of having a baby are also less than conducive to romance. Even childless men and women sometimes wonder "Why is my marriage sexless?" Communication is the key to finding out what is really going on.

If you have ever wondered to yourself "Why is my marriage sexless?", then it is high time that you had a deep, open conversation with your mate about it. Typically, lack of sex is not a problem itself, but rather an underlying symptom of some other issue. As men and women age, their hormone levels change, as do their appearances, these changes can cause a drop in sex drive. There may also be self esteem issues or trust issues at the root of the problem. The only way that normal intimacy will be restored though is through talking about it and working together.

Discuss this issue in our sexless marriage forum